Well, isn't that a question, and the answer is of course you are. You are beautiful, smart caring and loved by your husband so yes, you are a hot wife. But what does this term mean when either of you suggests that you sleep with other men. I say either of you as sometimes the woman knows this is what she'd like to do, and it's becoming more common to see women step up into their sexuality and ask for this. However more commonly it is the man coming to his wife to raise the subject.
Men who like to hotwife may hide to watch the action or observe via video camera. others are far away when the sex takes place but are there for the lead-up. These men enjoy helping their wives get ready for their dates: A man might , make the dinner and hotel reservation for her, shop for the sexy outfit she will wear on the date, other men enjoy being told about it after the fact, in great detail.
So for a women who has lived a monogamous stereotypical heteronormative life, this can be a little confusing, and sometimes unsettling concept to get their thoughts and emotions around.
Obviously some women, could be thinking , "i thought you'd never ask !" but these are usually more of a minority due to social and cultural conditioning. (I'll get into that another day )
Learning that your husband, enjoys it when you have sex with other men but is not sexually submissive, turned on to hear about it, does or doesn’t like to watch, but doesn’t (unless usually a Cuck in a slightly different dynamic) like to be humiliated, can make your mind find weird and wonderful rabbit holes to run down.
A hotwife can be defined along a very large spectrum and it should be based on individual preferences within the couple, but essentially it is a married woman whose marriage is open on her end , so that she can date other men and have sex with them, with both the permission and encouragement of her husband, in order to fulfill his fantasy of sharing her with other men, to the benefit of their marriage. Some couples who define themselves as such, often partake in other forms of 'swapping' 'swinging' along side this lifestyle, there are so many variations of how people practise it, but the key is to communicate well with one another your desires and your boundaries.
What can be seen and heard from couples who practise this lifestyle, successful people have impressive levels of connection and intimacy, enviable communication skills, and high levels of desire for each other compared to couples in monogamous unions.
so even if your initial thoughts are , how can this be healthy or be good for us , stop , don't let societal bias around monogamy, traditional relational concepts and judgements of female sexuality and promiscuity get in your way. embrace your inner sluttiness and think about what you want.
Many couples in this lifestyle have have extraordinary levels of commitment, deep mutual respect, and communicated skillfully. there is also research now (although still fairly limited, but much more than a few years ago) with reported reported high levels of marital satisfaction and sexual satisfaction after decades of being together, which is not quite the same for long term heteronormative monogamous relationships.
But it's not for everyone. If being a hotwife sounds enlightened and perhaps even empowering, many women in this space are lucky to have found this. But not everyone has the same neurotransmitters hormones or emotional capability to embrace this, so take your time go slow and ensure you communicate well. What you want to prevent is being fetishised by your partner for his own needs only, thankfully rare in this space but without honest and open communication you wont be able to find the balance between the two of you which is essential for this to work.
Ultimately ladies, what you have here, is a very incredible and supportive partner/husband who understands that he has something special in you, that your sexual power should be marvelled at and encouraged, he is letting you be free to be who you are in the security that you are coming home to him and he will be loved and love all the more for it .
To listen to more information on the subject of hotwifing and all things non monogamous, listen to my podcast or subscribe to my patreon.
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